I feel cozy with you...
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Sunday, January 01, 2006
I had never seen her so depressed. Tears were running down her face as I walked towards her. I would rather exchange my life to stop those tears from coming down from her eyes but there was nothing I could do. Nothing could console a person who had just lost a loved one. She probably did not know, what she meant to me. I wanted to walk forth and gather her in my arms and tell her that I loved her and I will be at her back supporting her, even if her father had left her.
Part of it was that I could not pick up the courage to do that; the other was the embarrassment that I would cause in front of the elders. But I took her hand and squeezed it gently to let her know that I understand the pain in her heart and I am willing to share the pain for her. She looked into my eyes and then fell into my arms. Then she threw all restrain and sobbed and sobbed. I too could not bear such a scene any longer and started crying too. Friends of hers started to gather around her and cried and all of us were huddled tightly together. We stayed with Nishino the whole time through the day and the funeral.
Throughout the night, I lie on the bed thinking of the plight my lady was in. It was not until the morning, I made my decision that she needed me, so I decided to go visit her. When I arrived, her mother was glad to see me. She let me in and pointed to her room. I nodded to her and went in. I saw Nishino sitting in the corner of the room, with a photo album clutched in her arms, staring vacantly into space. I managed a weak smile and sat beside her. She looked at me and tears sprang to her eyes. I took out my handkerchief and gave it to her. She took it, wiped her tears and returned to me.
“Let’s go out,” I suggested.
She shook her head. “I think you should go, I need to be alone,” she replied.
“I think you should, being alone is not going to help you get over it,” I said gently.
She keeps quiet.
“Let’s go to the park,” I offered.
She turned to me suddenly. “Are you asking for a date?” she said.
I nodded.
“Well, you chosen the wrong time,” she said and turned away angrily, “I think you should leave.”
That got my nerves. “Look,” I told her, “this may not be the right time to tell you this. I don’t care what you think about me and I know that you probably don’t care about me of all, but I am going to tell you anyway. I like you; I want to spend my whole life with you. I know I can’t replace you father; no one can. But all I want is to be by your side whenever you need me. You cannot stop me from caring for you, no matter what you say,” I said and got up, and left the room.
Her mother patted on my shoulder and nodded, when I went into the hall. She had probably heard everything I said. She did not have to say anything. Her pat on my shoulders said the she appreciated what I had done. I shook her hands and left.
Then I walked down the stairs. Within me I was trembling with embarrassment and half filled with anger. Also deep within, I felt on emptiness. Anyway I was glad that after admiring her for four years, I finally told her my feeling for her. Then I heard a voice shouting “Junpei”.
I turned and saw Nishino running down the stairs towards me. When she was steps away she threw herself onto me. I just held her close; bug her tight and stroked her hair gently while she sobbed away. “I love you, Junpei,” I heard her whisper, in between sobs.
posted @ 8:01 AM